Honesty is the best policy

Scuttlebutt – origins 1805, "water cask kept on a ship's deck," from scuttle "opening in a ship's deck"  butt "barrel." Earlier scuttle cask (1777). Meaning "rumor, gossip" first recorded 1901, originally nautical slang, traditionally said to be from sailors' custom of gathering around the scuttlebutt.

Ever grazed around the proverbial water cooler in the office and chewed the juicy gossip cud? No? Yeah, you must realize no one believes anyone is innocent of that crime.

Workplace gossip scenarios provide the greatest amounts of hearsay and entertainment that money can buy. And boy, are we all addicted to what comes out of these Chatty Cathy moments.

Anyone at anytime could put a stop to these events and congregations, but no one steps up to bat. In an article I found this week from The Trust Ambassador, the writer speaks of building trust and the importance of leaders and supervisors having to spend valuable time dispelling rumors in the work place. Now granted, this article is based more on rumors dealing with workplace issues such as pay cuts and such, but a leader could take the information to heart for other situations also. (Note to self: send this information to former bosses.)

The Ambassador gives seven tips for leaders to decrease the blow cause by rumors. All of these guidelines require a manager to get into the thick of things with their workers, getting to know them and helping to set information straight when something begins to sour. I believe that leaders should be proactive in this manner. In the past, I have had several passive supervisors, some who hid in their cubicles to avoid confrontation, and others who wanted to be everyone’s friend and joined in on the gossip while out on a smoke breaks.

A second article I found, directed to the human resource folk, reiterates the points brought up by Ambassador. Both are adamant that honesty is the best policy. Sounds like we have ourselves a theme here folks.

This seems like a simple concept to grasp, but in my experience, by the time a rumor has reached my ears, it has grown into a multi-headed hydra. Each time you try to cut off a head with honesty, two more heads spring up in its place. Time to hop in the DeLorean with Marty McFly to find out how my man Heracles dealt with such a monster.

Of course, having a supervisor to jump in and squash a rumor is a major help in the war on gossip. While I have had some truly gutless wonders as bosses in the past, I have also had the good experience of administrators who are actually in my corner.

Recently, I suffered through a series of rumors that centered around one insecure bickering couple that unbeknownst to me were using me as a pawn against one another.  

Back story being, about a year ago, I was asked out by a guy at work. Seemed like a nice enough fellow so I said yes. Over the next several weeks we communicated only by email (truly romantic, I know). During our technology based conversations, this particular chap would give me “outs”, meaning explaining reasons why I should not go out with him. It began to get awkward, and to make a long story short I finally accepted an out and told him I would not have dinner with him and that was the end of our talking.

I went on with life as I normally would, thinking that was over and done with. Several months later I found out that he was dating a lady at work that I dealt with occasionally. She kept their relationship a secret from me afraid I would be upset. However, I had no emotions invested in the matter.

During their romantic interlude that lasted a few months I began to discover my name was being brought up each time they argued. He would say I was bitter and starting rumors because he broke my heart by dumping me, (don’t ask me where that came from), and she would dramatically bring all of her problems to me, dragging me into their soap opera. Having any knowledge of their relationship began to turn my stomach as I was forced to listen to all the sappy details.
When they finally broke up, I thought I was in the clear and the minefield was cleared. Little did I know their arguments continued, as did the slanderous use of my name and actions.

The guy came to me one day to reveal that my so called “actions” in their relationship had escalated so far up that my higher headquarters’ bosses had been informed that I was a trouble maker and a home wrecker.

At this point, I was livid. I went to my supervisor and exploded my frustrations and upset over the entire situation. To know that I hadn’t even been part of the situation, but that my job was now being threatened by the idiotic ravings of two black hole crossed lovers.

I wanted to let me supervisor know so that if it was brought to her attention, she wasn’t in the dark. Instead of just listening to my plight, she immediately took action. She called the higher ups that were involved to set the record straight. She met the situation with honesty and explained the real story to those I was told were involved.

This action to me was a true show of how a boss should react to the rumor mill: meet it head on and firmly put a stop to it.

It turns out during her conversation with HQ that the guy had actually lied to me and that no one except he and this woman were talking about me. They had put me through great upset to use me against one another and had lied directly to me.

My boss going to bat for me helped bring complete closure to this situation for me. I told the couple to leave me the *BLEEP* alone and never breath my name again. Had my boss not done this for me, I would have continued to stress over this situation just waiting for the repercussions to sneak up on me.

Did I mention I had drama?

Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. ~Spanish Proverb