The Devil is in the Details

Fabrication - the act or process of fabricating; manufacture; something fabricated, especially an untruthful statement

In my weekly searches for information about rumors and gossip I have discovered some true gems amongst the smutty celebrity gossip sites. This week I came upon this blog from a family-centered, solutions-focused therapist, Nakia Fleming. I read over this entry “Rumors,Gossip, and Speculation”, and enjoyed her advice and insights into the world of gossip.

She tells the history of Gossip. Now this is something I previously should have done my homework on, but have now discovered interesting tidbits about the word and its meanings. Gossip actually used to be used to describe good things, believe it or not. It used to be a title for godparents and for women who talked with a pregnant woman through the process of child birthing. Amazing discovering the evolution of words and their definitions.

Back to Fleming though, she writes about how fast gossip spreads and what the possible causes, benefits and reasoning behind could be. She states, (and I find it to be very true based on my failed no gossip experiment), “Very few people proudly admit to it, but we all gossip. Some of us even relish it.”

She reveals, “Biologists analyzed sample human conversations and found that about 60% of time was spent gossiping about relationships and personal experiences.”

Holy loud mouth blabbers, Batman! Sixty percent of the time, that is crazy, yet not wholly unbelievable based on my own experiences. So what are we talking about the rest of the time? Events, history, plans? I have to admit I have pondered this a few times throughout my life thinking that I must be the most boring person that I only talk about myself or other people. So glad to hear I am not the only one out there.

Fleming goes on to share tips for preventing gossip and dealing with it in the workplace. It may be far too late and far down the road for me to start some of these practices, but I figure it can’t hurt to try.

One of her instructions is “sharing only information that you are comfortable having others talk about.” Here is a prime example of watching what you share:

For those of you who have been following the rantings on this Chattergirl, you may remember me telling a story about Friend.  If not, you could read back, or know that Friend was a nice guy who helped me out of a sticky situation, only to then have a tall tale spun about actions that didn’t happen.

Friend and I, even after the proverbial s#%t-hitting-the-fan rumors began to fly, hung out, talked, and many days of the work week had lunch together.

One day Friend and I attended an event at work where there was a nice buffet of cheeses, fruit and veggies, little sandwiches, and cake. This event took place at about 9 am, so that much food wasn’t necessary, but that didn’t stop anyone from queuing up anyway to stuff their faces and flap their gums.

Friend and I started in line together but were separated at the cheddar and crackers platter by one of my supervisors.  While filling up a plate that I would consider a yummy yet out of place breakfast, I turned to Friend and asked “So where are we going for lunch?”

At this my supervisor snapped back with “How can you talk about lunch when you are about to eat food?”

I laughed and patted my stomach to show that I had lots of room to hold second breakfasts, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper, and said “Because we are growing children.” In this, I jokingly meant that I was still growing and needed to eat to keep up my energy.

Unfortunately, my supervisor yelled at the top of her lungs, in the middle of a line in a room full of a multitude of people, including a lot of higher ups and busy bodies, “YOU’RE PREGNANT!?!?”

She then did a double take looking from Friend to me to Friend to me, notably making up a connection of the two in her head at that very moment.

I quickly tried to set the record straight, but by that time, the damage was done. Too many people had heard and my adamant denial only fueled the rumormonger wild fire.

Embarrassed by my stupid joke’s massive backfire, I returned to my office in an attempt to just down play the situation and distract myself with work. This was only minutes after the actual event, but by the time I reached my office, at the other end of the building and a floor down, I was already being greeted by congratulations and well wishes for the fake fetuses growing inside me.

One busybody even came bouncing up to me super excited at the opportunity of knitting me a blanket and baby hat. Lord, give me strength not to punch my coworkers.

By the end of the week, I was pregnant with twins and in need of a paternity test to figure out who the father was out of my multiple alleged lovers. Rumors tend to take on a life of their own, this time it was in the form fraternal twins.

Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules. ~Douglas Adams

Kind of a hilarious song about rumors and gossip... take it away boys.