People Gonna Talk

Quidnunc: a person who seeks to know all the latest news or gossip: busybody

My dear readers, I have failed, failed miserably at my weeklong mission. I have discovered that while it is not so hard to keep yourself from spreading rumors, it is nearly impossible to not talk about people, in either a good or a bad manner.

I had informed my family and friends of my undertaking in hopes that they would keep me in line. I found that I would be in the middle of the conversation with them and one or several of them would call me out for discussing someone else who was not present. Whether it was to describe the weird man walking around in my neighborhood or talk about something fun I had done with a friend the day before, I could not avoid the inevitable.

I am still trying to continue in this quest, but I going to strive to avoid talking about anyone in a negative manner.

I wanted to share a fascinating radio broadcast that I discovered. It is an hour long but the first 40 minutes are very interesting. The show is called This American Life and this episode is focused on Gossip. Now I am betting most people won’t listen to this, but if you have a little bit of time, lend it your ear. I am including the transcript also, but much is lost when reading.

At the beginning of this show the host, Sarah Koenig, is speaking with a married couple, Jeff and Julie, about a gossip situation that they experienced. Julie told her husband, Jeff, gossip that she had heard thinking it would be a dead topic at that time. However, the husband went on to repeat the story to women at a party sometime later. He described the sensation of gossiping with these women as intoxicating because of the attention that he was receiving.

Julie was upset with Jeff because, as the host says, “Jeff's defense is that he doesn't have Julie's talent for understanding the contours of gossip. He can't feel the significance of secrets the way she does. He can't always figure out their weight and value and danger. It's a real disability.”

Unfortunately, this is a defense that many use when caught up in the exotic holdings of the world of scandalous talk. It turns out that we crave that attention, (even if we don’t realize it), and the electricity of secrets and chitchat is invigorating.

The next section of the show focuses on gossip in Africa, which is based greatly in the talk of sex and AIDS. In one example the guest, Hazel Namandingo, discusses rumors that follow around women who are beautiful, with weight on them, and good skin, that they probably have HIV because their pills would cause such looks.

On that note let me share my own experience:

A few years ago, I moved up in my career to a position that offered more promising opportunities. When I did this, I decided it was time to move up in my personal lifestyle also. I began dressing more professionally, I decided it was time to invest in a house, and I bought a new car.

Now I know this makes me sound like Ms. Money Bags, but I assure you, I am just a frugal spender and make wise financial decisions (most of the time).

I am independent person, I have yet to be in a long term relationship that would allow me to share responsibilities with a significant other. For now I enjoy knowing that I can do it myself.

But wait, that can’t be right … One of the least hurtful yet semi condescending rumors was created from this stroke of mature independence.

While playing a game of softball, I overheard a few of my teammates saying my name; being curious and not being part of a conversation about me, I interrupted the scuttlebutt. They proceeded to ask me when I had gotten married.

Completely confused by this I asked for further clarification. Turns out that the grapevine had produced a bitter wine of wordplay that told tales of me getting married to some unknown beau, because there was no way I would ever be able to achieve such life goals by myself.

I would love one day to get married and have the white picket fence, two and a half kids, apple pie dream lifestyle; but for now, I like that I have what I have because I worked my way to getting it and didn’t need anyone else’s help to do so.

Love this song, seems so fitting if you listen to the radio broadcast too.

Your- not-yet-Mrs.,

Lady Chattergirl